I Can See Clearly Now (The Fog Is Gone)

I came out of a fog this morning and realized the hericane was over.

I am still on the cliffs, but I feel strangely at peace and unafraid. Both of my parents are very strongly present in my consciousness, and, there with them, I feel an extended family behind and all around me made up of persons from my past, my present, and my future.

And, (batten down the hatches ‘cause I’m gonna say it) I feel God with me for the first time since I was a little girl.

My amorphous black blob is still in the boat below me but it looks strangely out of place and pathetic. You see, I realize now that every time I looked down from the cliffs those days before the fog lifted, I saw a magnified version of my boat and my amorphous me as if I were looking through a high-powered telescope. I saw it as grotesquely large, isolated, alone, dead in the water, an overpowering and sole form of life in a vast, magnificent, and beautiful but empty ocean.

As I look down now on the fog-less expanded visual field, I see that the regatta (that I was so afraid was taking place without me) was here all along. My relationship with my amorphous-ness had created a veil, a mist, a “pea soup” (as my mother used to call a thick fog) through which nothing was visible and every second was (justifiably) filled with a vigilant concern for potential danger. The fear that resulted from my black amorphous fog put me on constant watch at my marine GPS station for small craft warnings, gale winds, and more. So much so that everything else in the world receded into the background and disappeared behind the veil. I interpreted each ramming or collision as a deliberate attempt to attack me without warning when, in reality; my fellow travelers were probably just as surprised and frightened as I.

I understand that despite the pronouncement from my black amorphous self that it was the manifestation of my deepest, darkest fears and despite the fact that that its presence filled me with terror, “it” was the sole relationship I trusted to accompany me on my journey…

My very own, very personal frenemy.

As I look down from my cliff perch, I can recognize how the Greater Field of Life, inclusive of the past and present and future of humanity, is the soul relationship I can trust to accompany me on the remainder of my life’s journey.

With the Greater Field of Life, I am not alone, nor am I being attacked. Therefore, I have no need to attack back or be on constant collision watch. I can now navigate these friendly seas and skies knowing that the universe has my back, the universe has my present, and the universe has my future. It’s a new and comforting feeling to co-captain my life with a clarity and connectedness to all that is.

Yes, my friends, I know that God has taken up residence in my small vessel.

And I know that He/She/It has taken up residence in yours too.